Sunday, June 23, 2013

Honest Perspective: Breastfeeding or Formula?

One of my best friends wrote the best post about breastfeeding, difficulties, and doing what is best for your baby.  I love her story and am so grateful for her honest and humble view about this hot topic.  Thanks for letting me share this!

“'Breastfeed, it’s one of the best decisions you can make for your baby.'  From my very first doctors visit this is what I was repeatedly told.  It felt like a lot of information to take in all at once, especially with all of the joy and excitement I was feeling about becoming a new mom.  But like any mom, I wanted to do what was best for my baby, so I had decided breastfeeding was the only way; formula wasn’t even an option in my mind. 

I proceeded to buy the pregnancy books (What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Your Pregnancy Week by Week, etc.), read the breastfeeding pamphlets from my OBGYN, read on the internet the ins and outs of breastfeeding, I even took a class on breastfeeding.  Honestly, I did everything I could imagine to understand how to make breastfeeding work for me and my baby.  I felt so prepared and ready for the day that I would get to share that first special moment with my new baby boy, when he would latch on and everything would workout smoothly.

The day finally came; my little guy was born and was absolutely perfect.  I have never felt so much love, joy, and happiness then that moment, when I gave birth to my son.  As I was holding him for the first time, having that first skin to skin moment, he latched onto me.  He seemed to be doing so well, everything was going as planned.  The next day, however, was a different story. 

When they brought him into my room to be fed he wouldn’t latch, he wanted nothing to do with it.  I remember feeling confused, 'Maybe he isn’t hungry? No, that can’t be right, it’s been three hours and he needs to eat.'  He started screaming and crying uncontrollably, the nurse tried to help but nothing she did worked.  They brought in a lactation specialist to help, but he still wouldn’t eat.  I was stressing out to the point of tears, this wasn’t supposed to happen, I did my homework and I wanted to give my baby the very best.  

They finally sent us home 48 hours later with my son “breastfeeding” but by supplementation of a syringe filled with formula.  I felt as if I had failed.  My baby was getting the majority of his milk supply from formula; I couldn’t fully give him the best.  The doctors and lactation specialist told me and my husband to take our son off of the syringe slowly, to ease him into pure breastfeeding.  My son was too smart, though, he figured out where the main supply of food was coming from and eventually stopped latching; he would go immediately to the syringe for his food. 

After many battles with my son, countless calls to the doctor/lactation specialist (who kept feeding me the same information over and over again), and too many minutes spent crying my eyes out when I should have been enjoying my new baby, my husband and I decided that maybe breastfeeding wasn’t the right decision for our son.  However, I still felt the need to give my son what I had been told was the best and decided to pump my milk for as long as I could.  But as circumstances would have it, I was only able to pump my milk for about a week and a half longer before my milk supply was completely gone.  What seemed like an awful and yet again depressing situation actually turned out to be the blessing and help I needed to move on.  My son needed his food and I needed to give him the nutrients to grow and develop properly, formula was the best solution for our problem.

As I sit here typing this today, reliving my whole experience with breastfeeding, I can’t help but be truly humbled and grateful for formula.  It not only fed my baby when I couldn’t, it gave him the chance to grow and develop into the perfect, active, and smart 2 year old boy he is today.  They say there are definite benefits to breastfeeding that make it the best choice for your baby and I don’t doubt for a second that those benefits are true, but my son was formula fed for 12 months and he has developed perfectly in every aspect of his young life.  When we take him in for his doctor appointments they are always amazed at how advanced he is for his age.  His doctor has said on numerous accounts, 'He is a smart one. I cannot believe he is already _____________ (fill in the blank). Most babies don’t do that for a few more months.'
 
If you are a mom struggling with breastfeeding or questioning if it’s right for you, my advice is to not feel pressured or guilty.  If you cannot breastfeed for one reason or another, or you choose not to breastfeed that is perfectly fine.  Formula is a great way to get your baby the essential nutrients he/she needs to grow and develop properly.  Formula was the best choice for me and my son, it might be the best choice for you and your baby." 

2 comments:

  1. I loved this post and can definitely relate! I have a lot of people giving me judging looks and saying impolite comments about how I formula feed my three month old daughter. She was a terrific feeder, and latched on perfectly from the start. However; She would be up for hours with an upset stomach screaming and not being able to give her any relief. She would also only feed every fifteen minutes. The doctors and us could not figure out what was wrong, and why she felt like she constantly needed to eat. We had to supplement with formula in small doses since the hospital, and it finally got to the point where she refused to breastfeed at all, and would only take her bottle with formula. Since then her weight has doubled and her pediatrician can't believe how much she's grown and developed. I hope with my other babies I'll be able to breastfeed for longer, but I don't feel bad about having to go to formula. Since then my daughter rarely has fussy days, and sleeps the entire night through. For us, we are all about formula and when it is right for our baby.

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  2. I had to return to work 3 weeks after delivery, so I chose to bottle feed all 4 of my children. My babies were all healthy, developed perfectly and were very happy (sleep-through-the-night)babies. I cannot imagine loving or bonding with my children any more than I did as I held them (and a bottle) and sang, talked and snuggled with them. Not only did I get that experience, but so did my husband. Personally, I think nursing is overrated, and too many women that choose not to nurse, or can't nurse feel guilty for it. There's a lot more that goes into a healthy, well developed and happy child than if he's nursed or bottle fed.

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